You swore you would never regret me;
It was always hard to find your grace,
And now I want you to forget me,
Remove from your memory your daughters face,
No matter how hard you try you can’t keep me here,
I’ll always find a way out; this is my life,
Leading me with my own fear,

I tried to be good but it was never enough,
No matter what I did I could never keep your love,
My worst fear is becoming like you,
My sickest habit is anything that you would do,
I wish I didn’t have a heart so that I wouldn’t feel this way,
I wish I could take my love and throw it all away,

You ask me to believe in God like you do,
But all I see is the devil coming through,
If your God is the real thing than I hate him already,
I don’t want him as my king; I can do it better,

I was always there when you needed someone to throw around,
And you were always ready to drag me in,
Take away my breath and let me drown,
I asked for one thing, for you to love me for who I was,
But you gave me nothing;
You keep shoving me down so that you can rise above,
Above the mask and the armor I wrap around myself everyday,
To keep people like you from finding my soul and torturing it with hate,

I thought this was supposed to be my home,
But instead it’s your castle and I’m the servant kneeling at your throne,
Something has to change; we can’t keep going on like this,
I can’t live this way; until one of us breaks these fights are endless,

I’m ending this today; I’m leaving home to find what I could never get from you,
And as I go away, will you miss me,
Or will you be thankful that I left so soon,
And now that I’m out of your life do you still do that love and hate thing,
Or do you understand what I was going through,
Does anything matter to you, can you see anything,
Do you feel alone and afraid, can you feel what I felt when you were there,
Can you finally see that all I was asking you to do was care,

But even if you don’t I’m no longer yours, I can do what I want to,
And I ask God to guide my heart, and lead me out of this storm,
To take me into his arms and help me forget all about you,
To help me forget the hurt and the pain you put me through,
But I want you to know, no matter what happens,
I will always love you; I will always love the mother I saw in my dreams,

And thank you Mom for giving birth to someone like me.

You gave your girls life into the hands of doctors,
Abusing her unborn body with tools of terror,

Without a voice she asked to live,
With your choice, the life she asked to have,
You gave away, murdered in the eyes of pain,

Until you lost her you didn’t know what you had,
When you had her you didn’t feel this bad,
But this time it’s too late, given away by your own hand,
Erase from your heart her arrival date,
And the memories of this man,

The man who slept with you and got scared,
The man who enjoyed your body and never cared,
They’re both gone, you knew it wasn’t right,
Leaving you in shame,
You were wrong, making life and taking it away,

Wondering what color her eyes would have been,
Would she have had your hair, and attitude of fire,
You thought you could be stronger, how could this be,
You can’t take this any longer; you need to be set free,

Nobody knows, no one will ever know,
You lie to yourself and think no one cares,
But someone does, God hears your prayers,

A prescription drug, who would have thought,
A lethal bug, against your life it fought,
Dying of an overdose, leaving family behind you,
Canceling the life you chose, for something greater,
On the floor, for them to see, leaving life silently.

Hold me, I’m lonely,
Hug me; act like you want me,
Can’t you feel it, something’s wrong,
Can’t you see it; death won’t be long,
Don’t tell me to leave; I need you,
Baby just touch me, you know you want to,
I’ll make you feel good, like only I can,
Teach me how I should, use my hands,
I’ll treat you better, use me,
We’ll make love together, abuse me,
I’ll do anything, take me there,
But you gave me nothing; you didn’t care,
I’m your lover for the night; I’m a whore,
I know this isn’t right, what’s my body for,
You leave my blood on the bed; I’m hurt,
I can see it dripping red; it’s my curse
I am dying slowly, within this amazing pain,
God make my body holy; take away my shame,
I don’t want to be alone, alone with chains of fire,

Take me home, giving myself to you, take me higher.

Last night I wrote,
With my blood,
A suicide note,
And in my journal,
I have instructions,
For my will and funeral,
Please bury me in gray,
Like the stones beneath me,
I’m sorry I’m leaving this way,
But my heart is dead,
And my body broken,
I am rotting with dread,
It is my soul that hell beckons,
I have to leave now,
I know you will forget in a second,
And now you know how,
How hard it was to be alone,
How painful it was to burn,
And I can hear you moan,
With regret, it is your turn.

I want to find this heart of mine,
I want to see it beating,
I want to rip it apart,
I want to see it bleeding,
With this knife, it stops.

Did you ever think that once you might have had a dream,
A dream that maybe you could have been so much more,
Maybe do something that that someone would have remembered you for,

Tough it out, and see how far you get,
Tough it out,
Maybe if you tried a little harder,
You can never be enough,
Maybe if you pushed yourself a little farther,
You’re not at all deserving of His love,

But as it is you are nothing, just a piece of shit in the river of life,
No matter how hard you try you could never do anything right,

Tough it out, and see how far you get,
Tough it out,
Maybe if you tried a little harder,
You can never be enough,
Maybe if you pushed yourself a little farther,
You’re not at all deserving of His love,

I see your secrets, the count of bodies, in your past they are rotting,
And the scars on your arms; all from self-inflicted harm,
Your parents sleep peacefully, forever thinking that they were right,
Always thinking of ways to break you down with your next fight,

As you soak your shirt with blood and tears of frustration,
They’re living their life at it’s fullest,
It’s their dream, you being their experimentation,
That’s what they’ve always wanted most,
You’re always alive, but always wishing for yourself to die,

Tough it out, and see how far you get,
Tough it out,
Maybe if you tried a little harder,
You can never be enough,
Maybe if you pushed yourself a little farther,
You’re not at all deserving of His love,

One day you’ll break, one day they’ll have to pay for all the tricks they pulled,
And we know what you are, the devils they aren’t fools,
It will be your fault, everything you do you’ll stand trial for,
Paying beyond your mistakes,
We’ll see how long you last until you break.

If I called you would you answer,
When I talk do you listen,
If I screamed would you hear me,
I needed you and you didn’t come,
If I was bleeding would you notice,
I’m asking you to love me,
If I were sick would you stay with me,
Take my pain away,
If I paid you would you heal me,
When I cried you told me I was weak,
If I begged you would you kill me,
After I’m buried will you think of me,
I told you I was dying, I asked you to care,
When I’m lying there in my blood will you cry,
Or will you finally be proud,
You said I would get over it, and it will be okay,
I shake when I think of you.
You make me wish for hell,
I’m leaving, my last thought is longing for your time,
Blood runs on the tile as my eyes close on the mirror,
Now that I’m dead do you care,

When I killed myself did I make you happy.

I took him out on the deck,
He reached his hand up and rubbed his neck,
I asked him if he had anything to say,
He told me to tell his wife and kids,
To tell them that he was sorry, and not to worry
He was sorry for the things he did,
He would be okay; he was at peace,
On the last day, the day I took his breath away,
A death by hanging, but he wasn’t afraid,
Taken in for man-slaughter, two deaths taken a little further,
I led him up to the platform,
His breathing heavy, his skin warm,
I tied the rope around his neck,
Kick away his standing block,
Step back and watch his body wreck,
Watching his silent scream, and his soul leave,
I heard the snap as his body hung limp,
And I knew there was no life within,
With a cloth over his face,

He will meet his eternal resting place.

The pain I feel,
With these cuts that heal,
The choices I make,
The ones that teach me to break,
The tears I cry,
The ones asking why,
Why do I tell the lies I tell,
I always prayed for happiness,
But I know I’ll meet the devil in hell,For I was born in sadness.

There, there, child lay down to sleep,
Do not cry for the missing,
Do not weep for I am here,
Even when I am gone I am near,

I know that the blood that was shed is saving death,

Keep our memories alive,
They’ll give you strength, my death for your life,
It is you, for whom I lived and died,
I have paid the price, me for you, His sacrifice

On my body he will feed,
Forever more fulfilling his greed,

As I endure this hell my every thought is of you,
Wishing you well,

My last heartbeat missing, I fall upon the floor,
Thank you honey for letting me be your cure,

For the devil he kissed me,
In death they will list me,

As you bury my body,
It is my soul that is rotting,

To see you smile once more,
That’s what I gave everything for,

You were the joy in my smile,
And the beat in my heart,
Goodbye my heart, my love.

If you hadn’t done what you did
It wouldn’t have to be this way
If you hadn’t done what you did
I wouldn’t have to feel this pain
You threw away my pride
It’s now my life on the line

Think of me if no one else
I can smell hell’s fire
We both knew my life would end this hour
I wanted to do this for you,
But I never knew, I never knew
For you I will dance on hells fire,
Holding the devils hand as he leads me away,
Here I will pay for your sin, and you still pray,
I will pay

Don’t tell me you’re sorry,
Don’t tell me that you’ll worry,
I don’t know why you hurt me so bad,
You only thought of yourself,
And now as you cry in your hands,
I’m paying your debt,

I hope you enjoy your time with God,
I hope everyone sees your fraud,
When you think of me I hope you hurt like you hurt me,
But I will pay for this eternally,
This pain is worse than I ever imagined,
How could you have made this happen.

For my soul it is too late,
But for my heart it will always have a place,
In your hands you will hold my happiness,
I hate myself for loving you,
I hate everything you’re putting me through,
Hells angels, you’re one of hells angels,
Leave me alone,
Leave me alone.