Monday, February 2, 2009


You swore you would never regret me;
It was always hard to find your grace,
And now I want you to forget me,
Remove from your memory your daughters face,
No matter how hard you try you can’t keep me here,
I’ll always find a way out; this is my life,
Leading me with my own fear,

I tried to be good but it was never enough,
No matter what I did I could never keep your love,
My worst fear is becoming like you,
My sickest habit is anything that you would do,
I wish I didn’t have a heart so that I wouldn’t feel this way,
I wish I could take my love and throw it all away,

You ask me to believe in God like you do,
But all I see is the devil coming through,
If your God is the real thing than I hate him already,
I don’t want him as my king; I can do it better,

I was always there when you needed someone to throw around,
And you were always ready to drag me in,
Take away my breath and let me drown,
I asked for one thing, for you to love me for who I was,
But you gave me nothing;
You keep shoving me down so that you can rise above,
Above the mask and the armor I wrap around myself everyday,
To keep people like you from finding my soul and torturing it with hate,

I thought this was supposed to be my home,
But instead it’s your castle and I’m the servant kneeling at your throne,
Something has to change; we can’t keep going on like this,
I can’t live this way; until one of us breaks these fights are endless,

I’m ending this today; I’m leaving home to find what I could never get from you,
And as I go away, will you miss me,
Or will you be thankful that I left so soon,
And now that I’m out of your life do you still do that love and hate thing,
Or do you understand what I was going through,
Does anything matter to you, can you see anything,
Do you feel alone and afraid, can you feel what I felt when you were there,
Can you finally see that all I was asking you to do was care,

But even if you don’t I’m no longer yours, I can do what I want to,
And I ask God to guide my heart, and lead me out of this storm,
To take me into his arms and help me forget all about you,
To help me forget the hurt and the pain you put me through,
But I want you to know, no matter what happens,
I will always love you;
I will always love the mother I saw in my dreams,
And thank you Mom for giving birth to someone like me.

4 comments:

  1. Did you write this? It is beautifully written - sad, but beautiful. You have a beautiful heart!
    ~Princess Annie Oakley

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did you write all of this here?!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Today In Forever

    Walking down a crowded street,
    There's heartache all around;
    The tears I cannot see,
    Are hidden by a smile, by anger, by dreams.

    One little girl, one of millions,
    Lost and alone.
    All those she trusted
    Have turned her innocence into
    The nightmare she now lives.

    An outcast far from home -
    Her dreams stolen
    By those she called her own.
    Scorned by all and loved by none,
    Her heart is dying,
    Broken inside.

    A lover rejected, tossed aside -
    Heart is broken, bleeding.
    The pieces of shattered trust
    Gathered slowly
    To build a wall to hide behind.

    Down every street,
    And in every home,
    Hearts are aching and
    Dreams are breaking.
    This world is so very cold,
    Leaving fear in pain's wake.

    My heart is heavy,
    Holding the weight of
    Death and suffering.
    How do you bear it, Father?
    To see lives falling apart?
    To watch hope fade
    In hands of cruelty?

    My child, you see but a piece.
    I see tomorrow through today.
    I see already heaven,
    Even while every tear now is wept.
    As you see yesterday, I see forever.
    I weep with the broken,
    But hope is not lost.

    I will bring justice;
    I will right every wrong;
    I will heal every heart;
    I will mend every wound.

    I see tomorrow,
    So trust me through today.
    Let me wrap my arms around you;
    Let me wipe away your tears;
    Let my hope replace your fears.

    Not one sigh has escaped my ear;
    Not one tear have I not caught.
    I see the boy alone in darkness,
    And I am even now shining a light.
    I know the name of the girl
    Stolen from her home,
    And I am even now, calling her to me.
    I weep with the woman
    Who's been left alone,
    And my arms are holding her still.
    I have watched the wanderings of the man
    Whose hope is gone with the fading of dreams,
    And even now I comfort and guide him.

    I created the beginning
    and I know the end.
    Rest my child, all will be well.
    Someday the darkness will be overtaken
    By my radiant and glorious light.
    But for now take heart -
    For I AM.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Religion gone awry,
    Makes me want to cry.

    Jesus must hate what we've become.
    Those like us He must want to shun.

    This really is a cult;
    It's not a lying insult.

    So much truth, but an evil spirit.
    I used to belong; now I hate to be near it.

    It's plain to see who caused this pain.
    God forbid that this kind should reign.

    Those at odds unite to destroy the weak.
    This is not the kingdom for which we seek.

    A humble heart, a loving word,
    A life apart, the truth we've heard.

    For this our Master pleads;
    Will we ignore or give Him heed?

    ReplyDelete